The Evolution of Parenthood

I hear the question almost every week.

"You're so good with children.  When are you guys going to have a kid?"

And/Or

"You guys should totally get a dog!  Have you thought about getting a dog?"

And my response is always the same:

"Right now, we're just trying to NOT kill our plants.  If we're successful, then we'll consider going up the evolutionary scale."

However, to be honest, our plants have been doing pretty well for a while now.  So, recently, I decided to take the plunge.---I became the proud parent of... Sea-Monkeys.

Yep, you read that right,... Sea-Monkeys,... those amazing, mermaid-like creatures that, years ago, were advertised in backs of comic books and issues of Boys Life magazine (ads usually in close proximity to ones for x-ray glasses and the Charles Atlas exercise program).  Back in the day, I remember looking at ads like this:

Well, a few weeks ago, I was in Target (Surprise, Surprise) and saw a Sea-Monkey starter kit on sale.  I'd always wanted to send away for them as a kid (along with a pair of those x-ray glasses!), but my parents wouldn't let me,... and I really wanted to see how spectacularly they would "instantly come to life in water", as a potential trick for all the nieces and nephews.  So, I bought 'em.

Now, as you might imagine, the whole "instant life" thing was actually less than impressive.  However, I did see the movements of baby Sea-Monkeys (no bigger than the size of the period at the end of this sentence) and decided to see how long they would last.

I diligently followed the directions and went online for tips.  (I am still amazed at how, on the internet, you can find die-hard fanatics for anything.)   After a few days, my Sea-Monkeys still seemed to be doing well, and I was surprised at how quickly they were growing.

The starter-kit only included a small, plain plastic tub, and so, I looked online at other mini-aquariums (all no bigger than an average soda can) to house my new little pets.  Finally, I decided on (wait for it...) The Magic Castle.

One Sea-Monkey fanatic had posted that "Your Sea-Monkeys will love the Magic Castle.  They can play hide-and-seek and chase each other around the castle walls.  They can even go to separate rooms, if they ever get in a tiff."  (Um, yeah... riiiiiight.)

Now, for the record, allow me to state that I know that Sea-Monkeys are merely a species of brine shrimp, they look nothing like the cartoon in the ads, and they definitely aren't complex enough to have specific desires/personalities,... but it is fun to watch them and pretend.

My Sea-Monkeys now look like this illustration to the right (click for a larger version), and they seem to be doing pretty well.  They're constantly swimming, as that's how they extract oxygen from the water, and due to their small size and constant motion, it's difficult to get a good picture of them.

To take care of them (Get this!), I only have to give them a tiny pinch of their "food" (included in the kit) once a week.---Yeah.  That's it.---Even a tremendously selfish, irresponsible person like me can do that, right?  :-)

So, this weekend, my boyfriend and I are attending a 3-year old girl's birthday party and inevitably, we'll get the same old question(s),... "Why don't you guys have a kid?"

And now, I have a new response.

"I'm currently just working on keeping Sea-Monkeys."

*heh*

Well, at least, I've gone a small step up the evolutionary scale.
;-) 

Comments

[Elemmaciltur]

Interesting....I've heard of Sea-Monkey before but never really knew what it really was. Just read up about it on Wikipedia. And well...I don't know about it. I would be interesting to see, but they're, well, butt-ugly things to raise. :-p

[Eliyahu]

My Sea-Monkeys always died before they got that big. :(

[demanik]

My boyfriend and I tried sea monkeys years ago, but we never got to the advanced point you are at. For us it was sea monkeys down the drain at a very early stage. We now have a dog. He is doing fine and we love him. Get a dog - they are survivors.

[new jersey delli]

Go full throttle and raise sea lions ;)

[Eric]

ok, that's just too darn cute.

[M.]

I love how Daddy Sea-Monkey's tail discreetly covers his naughty bits.

[Chad]

I always got upset when goldfish died. I couldn't handle killing an entire empire of sea monkeys.